Dreams
by HP Hood
Summary: michellepire had dream much "fun" is had by all.


DISCLAIMER: I am not after owning Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or Spike, or Angel, Or Xander, or Oz, or Giles, or anyone else who is affiliated with that particular television show- moving on…

Once of a muchness long ago there was a problem in Pire World, you see the pires had gotten very much drifted apart and no longer could find each other to do things with so instead they went on a mighty hunt. Now this hunt made each and every one of the pires tired and so they dreamed…

THE MICHELLEPIRE"S DREAM:

She was walking along a beach wearing a filmy dress, which is pretty neat if you've ever seen a picture of the michellepire because she usually lacks a body-but in this case she had one. Moving right along. Now the michellepire thought the dress very comfortable as it was getting cool and what are dresses but blankets in disguise anyway. Now as she was walking she noticed that the sun was going down and hissed in its general direction because the sun is the enemy of all sleeping pires-and let me tell you the pires are almost always sleeping even when they are wandering around awake. Not the point.

"Excuse me?" What's this the michellepire is talking back to me the illustrious great author of world renowned fame.

"Yes?" Says me the illustrious author who is also very gracious.

"Get to the point before I come up there and rip your head off and shove it into an ant hole and pour honey and syrup and sweet things all over your body so that the marmosets come and eat it." Ah well…so anyway the author smacks the michellepire who goes flying into the ocean and is rescued by a passing merman. Now back to the point.

So the michellepire was swimming around with her rescuing merman when she suddenly realized that she lack something-something that is basic to the natures of all pires. Bushes. She lacked bushes. Screaming-which underwater translates to a bunch of bubbles floating to the surface there to pop lazily, but I digress-she swam very, very deep into the deepness of the ocean in search of bushes. On her way she saw two ducks-three whales-a dolphin- two pink elephants- and one shiny squid. This squid interested her so she swam after it-chasing it all the way to a place called Sunnydale, CA. The squid-being shiny and neat, was able to climb out of the water onto the beach and run away into the local high school where everything bad happens and nearly nothing good happens-unless you count the time spent in the broom closets. But yet again I digress. So anyways the michellepire-being drawn to shiny objects like any good pire-chased after it in her now very wet and clingy filmy dress. On the way she noticed a guy with shiny hair watching this chick with blond hair who was busily killing vampires-the girl was killing vampires not he guy with shiny hair. The michellepire felt sorry for the vampires and so she scooped them up with her handy -dandy scooper of vampires thing and took them to the ocean where she dumped them in and screamed at them to-

"Be FREE!!!!" Anyway they waded back to shore and tried to bite her, and she thinking this was some new ritual before mating sucked out all their unlife and gave a very delicate belch that could be heard all the way to Cambodia. Now the shiny hair man was now talking to the Buffy chick-for this was the chick's name- and saying something about love. The michellepire gagged, as this is the only appropriate response, grabbed the man and took him to some bushes for a "heart-to-heart" or "whatever to whatever."

Meanwhile the Buffy chick was very-umm-horny. She suddenly had a serious urge to go see her friend Xander and screw his brains out before breakfast, but on the way she was sidetracked by Angel-her vampire lover YUM! SO she instead did a "happy dance" with him and then he lost his soul-again for like the seventeenth thousand time.

Meanwhile the michellepire had finished and was busy trying to get the shiny hair man up (no not that UP you sickos) and about so she could lead him home. Just then she heard a man scream a scream of such horror and anguish that she had to do something about it. She jumped up-not so coincidentally letting the shiny hair man down (again not that DOWN you disgusting people) and she ran off. On the way she caught a shiny green thing that seemed to be trying to go towards the light-which is never a good thing. So she tucked it in her dress where it curled up very "happy." On the way she ran into-literally-Xander whom she had to "demonstrate" the proper way to "go about things" with and then she left him trying to "recuperate" in a fountain. Now then as she was running she was getting really annoyed by all the people she kept having to "take care of" and so when she ran into Oz she just "nibbled" a little before moving on. Finally she got to the scene of the crime-here she had to stop to put on her trench coat and deerstalker (think Sherlock Holmes)-before assessing the situation. Now Buffy was attempting to climb up a wall while the Angel-now Angelus because he was evil- was trying to eat her. The michellepire was supremely miffed-vampires are only supposed to try and eat _her_. So the michellepire attacked and took the sparkly green thing and shoved it down his throat and then poured super glue down there and then left in a huff with a last parting remark that his soul better stay in there or she would have to come back and deal with it. (And I don't mean "deal with it." sickos) Then as she was running she started kicking herself and so she turned around and dragged him behind a dumpster where they proceeded to "sort" the garbage. Then he gave her a nice present of chocolate and pomegranate juice and she left. Then she woke up and discovered that it was much nicer when she was sleeping so she went back to sleep and she had a nice dream about -but that's another story and you don't really care.

THE END-FOR NOW…


End file.
